A few things:
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Not really French - so we had a French techno house, French metal band, Lady Gaga, Celine Dion, ok…
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Making fun of murder - I love the Republic as much as everyone, but showing a decapitated head of Marie Antoinette was bad taste
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Making fun of Christians - c’mon, we all know why you didn’t make fun of Muslims…
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Drag queens - I have nothing against drag, but when I think France I do not think drag queens
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Seine not really suited for a ceremony - imagine you spend a few thousand Euros to sit in the rain ; then imagine for your money you will watch the vast majority of the ceremony on a TV screen since the live show takes place somewhere else along the river. Congrats you have the same experience (minus the rain) as people watching in front of the TV that didn’t pay a single cent
I have attended live both the Opening and the Closing ceremonies - the Closing one was way more coherent and everyone at the stadium was able to enjoy it equally. It was however not at the level of the Opening ceremony, would have loved to see all that at Stade de France.
I mean - you are not going to match Paris, it’s considered one of, if not the most beautiful city in the world. That’s perfectly fine, just bring American energy and you will be fine.