If you want to piss off some redditors, there is no more efficient method than to be Steve Kerr and put any amount more guards on the court than god intended. do anything. And yes, that includes winning because winning always happens in spite of his coaching, setting up a fun little conundrum where coaching doesn’t matter and yet it’s the only thing holding back a stacked team from just steamrolling by <fill in whatever score is convenient>. On the eve of the gold medal game, it feels like the right time to do a deep dive into some recent Olympic history to see what competent coaching looks like.

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In 2021, well-documented three-ball revolution hater size king Gregg Popovich and Team USA brought a unique squad to compete in the Olympics, featuring only one “true” center in Bam Adebayo (6’9") and one backup center in Draymond Green (6’6"). They realized they would be remiss if they didn’t get to see if Javale McGee could fit in a miniature, Tokyo hotel room without having a claustrophobia-induced asthma attack, so they invited him to come vlog at the last minute.

The road to Tokyo starts bumpy. Nigeria pulls up to the USA basketball showcase and beats Team USA on their own soil. As you can imagine, people lose their minds. A team with a starting lineup of Lillard-Beal-Tatum-KD-Bam (An ideal, prototypical G-G-F-F-C lineup with elite scoring and size at both forward spots! They didn’t do anything weird!) lost to a team led by NBA third-stringer Gabe Vincent, who told the world to call him by his real name, Gabe Nnamdi. They follow this embarrassment with another loss to Australia, who basically just beat up this little ass team.

To be fair, Team USA went into the exhibitions with very little time to prepare, and several key players (Jrue, Middleton, Booker) were still playing in the NBA finals. Those guys would join the team in Tokyo, fresh off playing basketball at the highest level, and provide quite an advantage against a bunch of shweepy guys who hadn’t been outside for a year and a half.

Meanwhile, Javale vlogs himself doing forlorn lunges in a sparse living room like the rest of us, then puts his God-given 10-inch hands to work dominating at Bishi-Bashi. His double button smashing ability is on a different level.

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It’s Game 1 of Olympic group play, against a French team with medal aspirations. USA finally has its full squad, featuring two newly minted champions and one salty guy named Armani, who happened to be on the same flight. They start the biggest lineup they can. Lillard-Lavine-KD-Dray-Bam match up against a huge French lineup with size – and for Yabusele, fuckin yeeks – at every position.

For one half, USA controls play, but then in the 3rd Quarter, the offense grinds to a halt with Gobert et al playing FIBA-sanctioned defense. Five minutes pass, and they’ve scored four points. They devolve into iso play and end up with eleven in the quarter. For France, Fournier transforms into Kobe and isos his way to an efficient 28. USA finishes shooting 36% and loses. Oh shit, this team reeks! They’re way too small, and yet they can’t shoot or pass or run a play!

So what do they do? They lean in to small ball. New starting lineup: Lillard-Holiday-Booker-KD-Bam. Three guards. A floor-spacing cheat code at PF. The bench stays small and mixes in Draymond at C with Tatum playing PF full time. They use a game against an overmatched Iran to get rolling, then dice up Czech Republic to complete group play, but they still haven’t beat any top competition.

Javale’s asthma is fine. He looks longingly through the windows of a Kei van at the boarded up claw machine arcades and ramen shops he’d tear up if life could just be normal for one night.

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In the quarterfinals, they draw Spain, a relic of a team just there to give the Gasol bros a retirement tour and show pictures of Pau looking handsome in a white coat as a real fake honorary good doctor. The game is tight for a half, and Spain has a spirited run to go up double digits briefly. Is this team doomed against better competition? Team USA finally gets rolling in the third quarter, using pace and spacing to run out to a fifteen point lead over Spain. A little devil on Coach Pop’s shoulder named Steve Kerr whispers, "but don’t you wanna… play some KD at center >:) . "

Oh yeah, forgot he was here. Much has been made of player camaraderie at the Olympics, such as some infamous hijinks at a Rio brothel, but there is a much dorkier convention that happens at the same time among the glowering, cross-armed polo shirt wearers. It’s an exchange of basketball theory where the theme every year is how to most effectively sabotage a preponderance of talent.

KD at center doesn’t go so well. He’s not a center. Have you seen guy box out? Against Spain, they give up seven points quickly, so they return to the lineups they’ve honed over the last two games and close it out comfortably in the fourth.

In the semis, they bring the same starting lineup to face Australia. The first half goes about the same as the exhibition loss. Australia plays physically and cohesively and gets up to a thirteen point lead in the second. USA can’t score. They’re getting completely exposed. They try a big, defensive lineup for the first time: Jrue-Booker-Tatum-KD-Bam. The desperate Americans claw their way back into the game with an 11-1 run to end the half down just three. They’d finally learned. Size matters. Might is right.

Pop makes no halftime adjustments. He goes with the same starting lineup that languished in the first half. WTF was he thinking? Doesn’t he know that you’re supposed to punt your game plan into the sun at the first sign of trouble? It’s called A-D-J-U-S-T-M-E-N-T-S.

But something funny happens in the third – they start hitting their shots. They catch fire, actually. And they defend their little butts off, forcing Australia into 4/15 shooting. They win the third quarter 32-11 and blow out the team that had mauled them in their exhibition matchup.

Back at the hotel, Javale leans over a dollhouse vanity mirror and pokes at a liver spot behind the rounded part of his cheekbone. It’s slightly raised, as if embossed. Has that always been there?

Somehow we’ve made it to the gold medal game, a rematch against France. There isn’t much to break down about the game. It’s tight throughout, with USA squeaking out an 87-82 win. That means Pop was bailed out by KD going for 28, because if he didn’t, USA would’ve lost by 23; that’s just how math works.

I’ve spent a lot of time talking about starting lineups, but we all know it’s about how you close. So who does Pop throw out there to close it out? Dame-Jrue-Booker-KD-Dray. Three guards and two power forwards. A bunch of choke artists who can’t rebound or hit free throws and let France cut the lead from 9 at 1:15 left down to 3 in the waning moments. Oh well, they weren’t going to lose anyways.

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TL;DR

Previous international competition under FIBA rules have shown that spacing is paramount, even at the expense of size. With a game that provides defensive advantages to big men, including no defensive three second violation and a smaller court, the international game is much more congested. Without much time to adjust to a different court geometry, it’s natural to turn to workarounds that can counteract a more packed paint.

Playing small and fast and spread out, including using three guard lineups and lineups without a traditional four or five, are adjustments that seem to be the consensus among top level coaches, including Gregg Popovich at the 2021 Olympics. It was the key to maximizing a weaker Team USA roster en route to a gold medal.